“every boner is a blessing”

It’s been about a month now and I’ve realized so much. there are parts of me that still want to drop to my knees and ask for you back but I wouldn’t want to risk something like that.
I have to be stronger than that. over and over I have to tell myself to just wait it out and see what happens. 
maybe one day when we’re older we’ll find each other, when the time is finally right and you’ll look at me like you used to.
I’ll never have you again the way I had you, but that’s fine I guess because I’m hoping we grow and we both come back ten times more confident in ourselves and even better kissers.

7/19/15

things could be better.
the person I feel for could feel the same way
the job I work could have better pay
school could be done with and out of the way
things could be worse. 

I’m tired of thinking.
I think and I think and I think until it hurts.
I’ve become very patient because of this.
I usually try not to jump to conclusions or think the worst.
I’m tired of feeling.
I feel and I feel and I feel until it hurts. 
this makes me impatient. 
I usually go with first instinct and it usually feels the best.
you make me think, you make me feel.
but it has come to my attention that maybe you don’t think of me as often, or feel for me as much.
and it just stops.
I’ve been doing alright I guess, but the little things are what matter most and the little things have turned to nothings. 
I wish for my mind to just stop.
I’m trying my hardest to not go back to where you pulled me out of.